Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Installing Love

If I had had my act together, I would have given you this around Valentine’s Day. But the message has no deadline. I enjoyed this so much that instead of a website review this week, you are getting this. Enjoy!

INSTALLING LOVE

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install
Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What
do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located
your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is
it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually delete Past Hurt from
your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but
it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override
Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.
However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs
prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely deleted.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that
normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -
Program not run on external components". What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up
to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following
files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your
Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.


Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system
will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My Heart is filling up with new files Smile is
playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over my Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others, it takes awhile, but eventually
gets it at the proper time. So, Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and
it's various components to everyone you meet. They will in turn, share it
with others and return some cool components back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

-- Author Unknown